Today I'm happy to share a guest post by Emi Mead, in recognition of Domestic Violence Awareness Month.
SILENCE
IS NOT ALWAYS GOLDEN
For most of us silence conjures peaceful, quiet
moments. Perhaps when we think of
silence, we think of it as a quiet corner of our world when we can sit on a
beach and enjoy watching the spectacular pink and orange hues of a sunset as it
paints its colors across the water and then dips past the edge of the horizon
into the sea.
Silence is softly tiptoeing into a sleeping child’s room to
watch the wonder of that child as it slumbers peacefully, with breaths quietly and
slowly measured in and out, in and out.
Silence is watching snow falling, grateful to be inside a
warm place with a good book and a hot cup of coffee, while looking out to see the
snow as it covers everything in sight with a fresh, white blanket.
But silence is not always golden. Silence also hides secrets. Secrets that are too embarrassing to be told. Secrets that are too dangerous to be
told. Victims of domestic violence
know of this silence all too well.
For some, silence is the only way they know to be able to stay alive.
In years past, speaking out against violence toward another
family member’s or neighbor’s life was taboo. Just mind your own business, we were told. Don’t stick your nose where it doesn’t
belong. It’s between them. Just be quiet. Just be silent.
Thank goodness, much of that has changed. A victim doesn’t have to suffer in
silence any longer although many of them still do. Threats of even more abuse are made to silence the victim if
she dares to tell anyone.
Today, if we suspect someone we know is being abused, we
need to let them know that there is help out there for them. They are not alone. We need to let them know they can
safely talk to someone.
We need to give them the opportunity to break that silence.
Thanks for sharing, Emi!
So true. As a former victim I knew when to be silent. I watched him abuse his dog and knew that if I uttered a peep I was next. Sad to let an animal be abused I know this deep down and hate it. However, given the alternative of being choked to where I saw stars and had fingerprint bruises on my neck to be hidden under clothes, the black eye and busted lip, and countless other injuries to my soul that no one could ever and probably will ever see. It took me years to speak of it to my family. It took years to write it. Finally I did in a series. One day I will write about the injuries to my soul made in that silence as it speaks the volumes that are often never said.
ReplyDeleteKathie, I'm so glad you found a way out and that you speak/write about it. Would you share a link to info on your series? I'd love to read it and I'm sure Emi would too.
DeleteKathie, I'm so glad you survived. Animal abuse is often a gateway into other forms of abuse. A broken bone will heal much faster than a broken soul. An abuser most often will start with the emotional and mental abuse before it escalates to the physical level. I hope you will keep writing - even if you are not ready for others to read it. In time, you might be willing to share and in turn, help some one else caught in the abusive cycle.
DeleteThis is a very serious topic. Unfortunately, this is something that occurs too often in homes. I read a book by Stephanie McKenny called Clutch Your Pearls Girl, and she discussed this topic making younger girls aware of this serious act. As the previous blogger states that it took years..it is very difficult to encourage someone to leave when they are not ready to leave. Also, depending on the conditions a person is living, there needs to be a safe plan in place too! Thank you for writing this post!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jewel. You are so right, and I've never heard of this book, but will find it and read. And share! Appreciate your thoughtful comments.
DeleteYes, just letting them know that they are not alone and have a safe place to get themselves together can be such a big help. Domestic violence takes many forms and one of them is isolation and believing nobody cares or can help. We have to let them know that we do care.
ReplyDeleteHi Shawn,
DeleteIsolation is a horrible part of it, and it's important for friends to stick around, even if they don't fully understand what's going on. Thanks for coming by.