Monday, September 21, 2009

Blame My Mum

I haven't written much lately because I've been so busy with working and moving and driving back and forth to my mother's. And searching for a plastic flower pot.

While I was on "vacation" for the move, I took a break one day to run to Target to get cleaning supplies and shelf liner. This is one of at least four differences in men and women: men move to a new place, grab their mac and cheese and liquor, and throw it in a cupboard. Women look in every cabinet, say "EWWWWW," and go shopping. Then we scrub the cabinets, line them with paper that no other human has ever touched, dust our mac and cheese boxes, Windex the liquor bottles, and contemplate the ergonomically correct way to organize the cupboards.

So I went to Target and they had the summer outdoor stuff on clearance. After choosing a flower pot for my houseplant that will need to come in soon, I studied every single thing in the store and eventually noticed shelf liner on the aisle to my right. I gave myself points for remembering why I was there and headed for the liner. Right across from the liners were sponges. Sponges of all shapes and sizes and price ranges, and I needed those too.

First thing I wanted to do when I got home was to put light bulbs in the ceiling fan. They were not in the bag. I checked the receipt. Yep, I paid for them. I'd already realized I forgot to buy shelf liner. I searched the truck in case the light bulbs fell out of the bag. They didn't. I called Target. The bulbs were still lying on the counter. They marked them "Paid and Left" as if I intentionally buy things and leave them behind, and held them for me.

I discovered that the new flower pot was perfect for the mum on my front porch. But I have two mums, so yesterday I decided to take a break and go for a couple more flower pots. Target was sold out, but they had a nice outdoor table on clearance. I didn't buy it because I couldn't lift the box and I was too lazy to find someone to help. I decided to run to another Target to see if they had the flower pot. Other Target didn't have any flower pots either, but they had a set of two outdoor chairs on clearance, that match the table at the other store. I didn't get the chairs because I didn't want to backtrack for the table that I couldn't lift.

I decided every thrift store in the world would have flower pots, so I headed to the nearest one. No flower pots. I went down the road to another thrift store, which also, for crying out loud, had no flower pots, but did have two fabulous framed photographs by Catherine Cardarelli, called Bird 2 and Bird 3. After searching the store for Bird 1, I realized I'd spent about six hours looking for a plastic flower pot and decided to go home and get some boxes unpacked--as soon as I ran to Big Lots next door to see if they had flower pots. And they did. I bought two and came home, to find that the pots were too small. I was too tired to do much unpacking and went to bed early.

On my lunch break today I decided to go to the local hardware store to get a flower pot. They had some! They were $45.00! I ran to the farm supply store, where I bought two for 10-something and raced home to finally place my mums in their new plastic. The pots were too small. One clearance-priced plastic flower pot had now cost me about $25.00 and too many hours of life.

It is not my fault that my shelves are not yet lined and the mac and cheese is still in a box somewhere on a dirty floor.

It's my mum's.