Credit: newspressnow.com |
Weston, MO
Robert Beauchamp of Weston, known by everyone around as
Ziggy, has filed a lawsuit, claiming that he was turned down for a job at the
local convenience store Trex Mart due to his age.
The suit comes as a surprise to the people of Weston, because Ziggy has been comfortably retired from TWA since…well, since TWA.
In an exclusive interview with KCTV3 investigative reporter
Debbie Turner, Ziggy said, “Since this is in litigation, I can’t say much, but
I’ll tell ya this. I went in there and got my coffee like I always do, and then
I was scratchin’ a lottery ticket, one of them Monopoly ones, when Jim says, 'Ziggy, you should work here since you’re here all the time anyway,' and I says, 'No, I’d be late ‘cause I never know what time I’ll get around,' and Jim says, 'But people like ya and they’d come by to visit and buy donuts and stuff,' and
then I says, 'Well I can’t stand up all damn day, and I can’t sit for long
either, and I have to feed the cats and dogs them assholes keep dumpin’ at the
home place and you already know if I’m gone too long Millie gets mad and burns
my supper.'
“Then Jim says, 'But you could get your coffee for free if
you work here,' and I says, 'Get me an application,' and I filled it out best I
could what with my arthritis, except the part about previous employer addresses
and references and a bunch of other nonsense. So I go in for my coffee like I
always do, and Jim never mentions it again and a week later some kid ain't old enough to sell beer is in
there makin’ coffee and sellin’ the donuts. It just ain’t right.”
When reached for comment, Trex Mart manager Jim Sutton said, “Coffee. Donuts. I think
we can settle this through mediation.”
When he says--"Well I can’t stand up all damn day, and I can’t sit for long either, and I have to feed the cats and dogs them assholes keep dumpin’ at the home place and you already know if I’m gone too long Millie gets mad and burns my supper"--we know almost everything we need to know about him. LOL! What great characterization! I could see it happening, too. I mean, they practically made the guy fill out the damned app, with his arthritic hands and all, and then they didn't even have the decency to call him. Shee-ooot. It'd better be a lotta coffee and donuts, that's all I'm sayin'.
ReplyDeleteHA! Thanks, Ros.
ReplyDeleteI'm trying my comment again! I loved this. I laughed out loud when I read it, and when the guys hanging out in my basement asked what I was laughing about, I read it to them. They laughed too. You've captured this curmudgeon in so few words--and the worst (best) of it is, I'm pretty sure I know him.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Crystal! I think I know him too : )
DeleteHe's got spunk :) Will buy my coffee from him any day!
ReplyDeleteAnd 3 dozen donuts before you know what happened! Thanks for visiting.
DeleteReminded of all the old guys who hung out in a gas station near my elementary school. My dad would pass time with them while waiting for me to get out of school. Are you sure he didn't chaw tabaccy, too? Great tale.
ReplyDeleteThanks Stella! I think he sneaks out to the barn for an occasional chaw : )
DeleteYour humor inspires me! and entertains me! I love the push me/pull you flow of the dialog. I think I might be related to a close cousin of Ziggy.
ReplyDeleteHaHa! Thanks, Whitney!
DeleteLove your humour.This guy really comes alive. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Valerie!
DeleteOh gad, I think I'm related to this guy! Love howvividly drawn he is and with such a vibrant economy of words.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Carryl!
ReplyDelete