Sign, Sign, Everywhere a Sign

You know how you have to provide entertainment to children when road tripping in order to save your sanity? I was travelling alone today and 20 minutes into the 3 plus hour trip I started saying "Am I there yet?"

While fantasizing that I could twitch my nose and magically be home I noticed a sign: "Eat Here or We'll Both Starve." Before I quit giggling over that I saw this one and made a quick u-turn to get a photo. It says "Gitt'er Tan Special, B-O Subs & Ice Cream (YUM!), Fast Cash, and then 31 Topping Pizza, $7 Each." How could you not stop? Of course they also rent videos and sell fried chicken.

The next shop sign said "Paw and Guns." I wanted to stop in and ask about Ma but knew I'd never get home if I stopped at every sign with missing letters.

If you know where I can get a large supply of these letters please contact me. I have a *great idea for my next road trip.

*Not recommended for children under 12.

New date for Q&A with Christina Katz

Mom gave me some monogrammed sheets last Christmas. It's so much easier to find my bed now.

I don't know where that came from. I'm here to tell you that the Q&A with Christina Katz will post next week, as Christina is in New York at the Writer's Digest/BEA Conference, leading a workshop on... what else? Platform Building!

We'll do the Q&A one week from today, Tuesday, June 2. Please check it out! Maybe we'll do a random drawing for monogrammed sheets from all participants : )

Christina Katz is Coming to a Blog Near You

Happy Weekend!

On Tuesday evening, May 26, I will post/host a Q&A with the fabulous Christina Katz, author, teacher, and expert on getting published and platform building. After reading the Q&A you can post questions for Christina and she will drop by to answer.

She's smart. She's successful. She's living the writer dream. Mine anyway. Please take the opportunity to "meet" Christina and learn from her expertise. You will be glad you did.

Party On!

I went to one of "those" parties today. The worst kind - makeup. Those of you who know me may have noticed that I don't spend much money on makeup. I only went because the hostess is a friend of mine, and it's horrible to have one of those things and have nobody show. I anticipated sitting around a table with a few other chicks, doing the whole facial thang and trying out all the newest shades of eyeshadow and lipstick. I didn't apply makeup before going, 'cause really, what's the point? I did pluck my eyebrows, just so ya know.

I walked in 5 minutes late, and the party had started. My friend was not giving a presentation, her whatever-they-call-it in multilevel marketing person was. The perfectly madeup lady stopped talking and about 30 people stared at me. They all had makeup on. And nice outfits.

If we asked questions or made intelligent comments during the presentation, we got carnival tickets for a drawing for prizes, which were the tiniest gift bags you've ever laid eyes on, containing very valuable merchandise!

Soon a pink cadillac rolled up the drive, and the "director" entered, to take over the sales pitch while the other perfectly madeup lady walked around the room squirting one lotion after another into our palms. Damn my hands were oily, er, soft. All that stuff on my hands is the stuff they sell for your face. So my question was "Why aren't we putting it on our faces?" Then "Is this stuff guaranteed? I mean, for $48.00 for only one step of this 27 step beauty routine, I anticipate looking like Jennifer Aniston by this time next month." They gave me 2 tickets for the questions and 3 more to shut up.

After putting 27 layers of lotion on our hands they offered 5 tickets each to those who agreed to host a party within the next 2 weeks. And then the party was over. A makeup party with no makeup. What next? A tupperware party with no plastic? A lingerie party with no thongs? A candle party with no wax? It's all too much to think about, so I'm going to bed. With a little Ponds on my face.

Just Wondering

Why do lottery tickets say "do not iron?"

Why do privacy laws prevent colleges from disclosing student grades to parents, but allow them to send the bills to parents?

Since the revenue from the riverboat casinos is supposed to support our schools, why can't the college send the bill to Harrahs?

Chaos and Poetry

Writing the Life Chaotic. It's so me. Sage Cohen has written a book called Writing the Life Poetic, an Invitation to Read and Write Poetry. Knowing I got my subtitle idea from her, I popped an email over and asked her permission, and she gave me the go ahead without making fun of me.

I have written one poem in my life, and that was an accident. Poems just fall out of Sage. At least she makes it seem that way. Whether you're an aspiring poet or not, her books are worth checking out (pun intended) and her website, http://www.sagesaidso.com/ is a work of art. Smoking cats, creme brulee, what's not to love?

So my blog is now your invitation to read about chaos, and please accept Sage's Invitation to Read and Write Poetry.