Sunday, May 17, 2009

Party On!

I went to one of "those" parties today. The worst kind - makeup. Those of you who know me may have noticed that I don't spend much money on makeup. I only went because the hostess is a friend of mine, and it's horrible to have one of those things and have nobody show. I anticipated sitting around a table with a few other chicks, doing the whole facial thang and trying out all the newest shades of eyeshadow and lipstick. I didn't apply makeup before going, 'cause really, what's the point? I did pluck my eyebrows, just so ya know.

I walked in 5 minutes late, and the party had started. My friend was not giving a presentation, her whatever-they-call-it in multilevel marketing person was. The perfectly madeup lady stopped talking and about 30 people stared at me. They all had makeup on. And nice outfits.

If we asked questions or made intelligent comments during the presentation, we got carnival tickets for a drawing for prizes, which were the tiniest gift bags you've ever laid eyes on, containing very valuable merchandise!

Soon a pink cadillac rolled up the drive, and the "director" entered, to take over the sales pitch while the other perfectly madeup lady walked around the room squirting one lotion after another into our palms. Damn my hands were oily, er, soft. All that stuff on my hands is the stuff they sell for your face. So my question was "Why aren't we putting it on our faces?" Then "Is this stuff guaranteed? I mean, for $48.00 for only one step of this 27 step beauty routine, I anticipate looking like Jennifer Aniston by this time next month." They gave me 2 tickets for the questions and 3 more to shut up.

After putting 27 layers of lotion on our hands they offered 5 tickets each to those who agreed to host a party within the next 2 weeks. And then the party was over. A makeup party with no makeup. What next? A tupperware party with no plastic? A lingerie party with no thongs? A candle party with no wax? It's all too much to think about, so I'm going to bed. With a little Ponds on my face.

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