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Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Small Town Big News










The Citizen
Complete County Coverage


April 27/Debbie Turner, Reporter



Shitty Old Resident Finally Dies

Local old codger Richard (Dick) Duddy passed away belligerently at his home on Monday of an apparent heart attack while standing in his front yard and yelling at kids three doors down not to come near his grass. He was 72 years, 6 months, 2 days, and 8 hours old. He leaves his wife, Delores, of the home and three children, Mark, Beth, and Diane, who have been waiting.

Richard was a lifelong resident of Platte County. He enjoyed building fences, burning bridges, and writing letters to the editor of The Citizen. According to those letters Richard was an expert in county government, proper farming techniques, HOA legal terminology, feral cats, and everything else.

Visitation will be on Thursday from 2:00 to 2:10 p.m. at Pineview Drive-In Church and Theatre with private services to follow (come back that evening to see Two Mules for Sister Sara). The family requests that in lieu of flowers, contributions be made to Mr. Duddy’s nonprofit organization, Make Platte County Tolerable Again.



26 comments:

  1. Oh please, turn these articles into a "newspaper". Just do it already!

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    1. Ha! Thanks for the encouragement.

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  2. I am DYINNNNNGGGGGGGG! Everything about this is hilarious! "Get offa my grayaaasssss!" The left behind, "who have been waiting." And THIS: "He enjoyed building fences, burning bridges, and writing letters to the editor of The Citizen." Perfection! The ten-minute wake and the play to follow! The church-and-theatre! I'll be back to read and laugh (and smh) again.

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    1. I'm happy it made you laugh. Thanks so much!

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  3. Oh, you've done it again. This is perfect. Everything Ros said.

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  4. This is perfect! Loved the burning bridges, building fences and writing letters.

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  5. This is hilarious! Hard to top the previous comments, but you should make this into either a daily blog or a newsletter! It's great!

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  6. OMG! My sides are hurting I'm laughing so hard! Brilliant, absolutely brilliant! I love that he was "72 years, 6 months, 2 days, and 8 hours old", but not that anyone was counting. And the survivors who were waiting. And why do I find it particularly hilarious that the feature is Two Mules for Sister Sara? I might have to watch that one again, just because. I'm DY - ING!

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  7. HA! I don't even know why I picked that show. Maybe I should watch it again too. Thanks for laughing at me!

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  8. Dying. I had to read it three times to write this review. The picture is gruesome, the prose is awesome. favs bits were about the drive-in services and movie, building fences and burning bridges, and belligerent death. Too funny. A must share as soon as I stop laughing.

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  9. Outstanding! You are truly gifted. "Come back this evening to see Two Mules For Sister Sarah." And God bless Delores (of the home)...golden.

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    1. Thanks, Sandy! Appreciate you coming by.

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  10. This has a very Woebegone feel to it, which means it is one of my absolute favorites. I agree, needs to be a weekly feature.

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    1. Thanks so much, and I'm glad to see the paperback is now available for your book!

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  11. You almost made me spray beer all over my computer screen. Mr. Duddy would not approve. LMAO

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    1. He definitely would not. But he's dead, so spray away!

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  12. So funny! The picture & title combo drew me in. I had to read this. Fortunately I wasn't drinking beer! :)

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    1. Glad you didn't spew anything! Thanks for the read, Marsha!

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  13. Love it. Adore the headline. LOL.

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  14. I think the viewing is 5 minutes too long. Bwahahahahahahahaha.

    Have a fabulous day and thanks for visiting Comedy Plus. ☺

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    1. I think the old fuddy duddy deleted my previous reply. Anyway, I think you are right - shorter is better : ) Thanks for stopping by!

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