Bagging Groceries: It Ain't Rocket Science

B is for bagging my groceries in a way that won't make me want to hit you in the head with the sack containing 305 pounds of canned goods.

I just met Kristen. She proudly bagged my groceries at Price Chopper. I know she is proud, because the card I found under the bananas says so.

I placed my groceries on the belt in an arrangement that should have made it easy for Kristen to be proud. Canned goods together, frozen items together, fresh fruit and veggies far from raw meat, etc. Easy peasy.

I was chatting with the checker rather than staring Kristen down to make sure she did pride-worthy work. Then I noticed she’d bagged the groceries, but left them on the counter. As I loaded them back into the cart she grabbed my deli salad and suggested I put it on top. I found that helpful, as I searched for the bread and eggs.

Kristen then asked if I’d like help out. I pictured her walking to the car with me and then watching me load the groceries myself. I declined.

Back at the car, I secured the eggs, bread, and my salad on the backseat and started placing the sturdier goods in the floor. I noticed a trail of white liquid from the cart to the carpet, including my shoes. I pulled the single thin bag containing milk and two cartons of half and half. The small carton of half and half had been placed in the bag upside down, and the bigger cartons tossed on top. I set the soaked bag on the pavement, found a towel to mop up, rearranged other groceries so I could double bag the milk, and pondered whether I was going back in, hiking to the back forty for another carton, bitching, and hoofing it back to the car. I decided against this.

Back home, I toted my loot to the kitchen. The first bag contained two bananas and Kristen’s card. She did get the concept of like with like, but may have gone a bit too far. Umpteen canned goods were in one bag. Fresh sandwich meat from the deli was bagged with raw chicken. Frozen bread with fresh. All fresh veggies smashed into one bag.

The final bag contained only cut, chilled watermelon. Kristen did not bag it with the bananas, although they are both fruit. Perhaps she was afraid I wouldn't find her card if placed in a bag with two items.

Good job, Kristen. Be proud. I know I am.