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Saturday, April 2, 2016

Bagging Groceries: It Ain't Rocket Science






B is for bagging my groceries in a way that won't make me want to hit you in the head with the sack containing 305 pounds of canned goods.

I just met Kristen. She proudly bagged my groceries at Price Chopper. I know she is proud, because the card I found under the bananas says so.

I placed my groceries on the belt in an arrangement that should have made it easy for Kristen to be proud. Canned goods together, frozen items together, fresh fruit and veggies far from raw meat, etc. Easy peasy.

I was chatting with the checker rather than staring Kristen down to make sure she did pride-worthy work. Then I noticed she’d bagged the groceries, but left them on the counter. As I loaded them back into the cart she grabbed my deli salad and suggested I put it on top. I found that helpful, as I searched for the bread and eggs.

Kristen then asked if I’d like help out. I pictured her walking to the car with me and then watching me load the groceries myself. I declined.

Back at the car, I secured the eggs, bread, and my salad on the backseat and started placing the sturdier goods in the floor. I noticed a trail of white liquid from the cart to the carpet, including my shoes. I pulled the single thin bag containing milk and two cartons of half and half. The small carton of half and half had been placed in the bag upside down, and the bigger cartons tossed on top. I set the soaked bag on the pavement, found a towel to mop up, rearranged other groceries so I could double bag the milk, and pondered whether I was going back in, hiking to the back forty for another carton, bitching, and hoofing it back to the car. I decided against this.

Back home, I toted my loot to the kitchen. The first bag contained two bananas and Kristen’s card. She did get the concept of like with like, but may have gone a bit too far. Umpteen canned goods were in one bag. Fresh sandwich meat from the deli was bagged with raw chicken. Frozen bread with fresh. All fresh veggies smashed into one bag.

The final bag contained only cut, chilled watermelon. Kristen did not bag it with the bananas, although they are both fruit. Perhaps she was afraid I wouldn't find her card if placed in a bag with two items.


Good job, Kristen. Be proud. I know I am.



27 comments:

  1. Made me chuckle. We moved from Maryland, where we paid 5 cents per store bag. Needless to say, we took our own bags and packed them full. Mississippi seems to be the land of use as many bags as possible to load the groceries.
    Thanks for stopping by http://smalllifebig.blogspot.com/

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    1. Oh dear. And yeah, when I die people will think I hoard plastic bags, 'cause they only have so many uses and I hate to send them to a landfill. Thanks for coming by!

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  2. Haha, how cute and funny. At Aldi you have to pack your own bags and I feel like I've perfected this art, tho I hate it just as much!

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    1. Hey Ashley, you should make cards to drop in your bags saying, "Great job!" or "Way to bag!" Thanks for coming by!

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  3. Dying. I love what you've done with this and like you, I sort my groceries to ensure packing success on the bagger's end, but the best of plans often go awry. Much enjoyed this funny post.

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    1. Best laid plans, indeed. Thanks for your kind words!

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  4. Bagging groceries is now pretty much a do-it-yourself job here in the UK but I do sympathise!

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    1. Hmm. I bet you don't put one item in one bag and 40 in another! Thanks for coming by!

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  5. Years ago when I was a bag packer at...you know I can't even remember the store's name anymore. Anyway, they made me take a course on how to properly pack a bag. It was fairly straightforward, and I always wondered why they felt it necessary to make it a formal class.

    Now I know.

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    1. Ha! Now we know is right. If Kristen took that course, well…
      Thanks for visiting! I'm coming over to see you : )

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  6. This made me laugh! Kristen may need a little more training...but at least you've got bagger-uppers, in Britain, as others have said, we have to pack our own bags in the supermarket.

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    1. Hey, thanks for visiting and laughing at me : ) I bet you don't bag bread under canned corn.

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  7. LOL! Great post! I am with you on the groceries. I always have to rearrange the bags when I get to the car.

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    1. Yup. Then you get home and realize they missed bagging one item and you have to go back for it. Thanks for coming by, Melissa!

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  8. I've taken to bagging my own groceries at Walmart. I can feel your pain, though. Back in the day, before everything seemed to be self-service, I remember all too often finding the bread smashed in the bottom of the bag, or eggs broken. I feel your pain.

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    1. You are a brave brave woman for shopping there : )

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  9. Well, you obviously did not work for Sam DiNoto, who managed the Victory and Great American stores in Bainbridge and Unadilla NY for a total of 33 years. If she had, she would have known exactly how to bag groceries as you describe - like with like, and bread and eggs together in a separate bag with eggs under the bread. I think I knew how to properly bag groceries, the Sam way, as young as age 5. It was the first skill his employees learned and so we, his 6 daughters, all learned it too.

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    1. I think it's great that you were taught how to do this so young, like it's an important life skill - because it is! Thanks for visiting, Denise.

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    2. SO awesome, Denise! God bless him!

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  10. Dang it - it's my day for comment typos! I meant to say, Kristen obviously did not work for Sam. Dad. Whatever.

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    1. HAHAHA. No apologies for typos!

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  11. This would have me hyperventilating. Kudos on being able to turn it into a funny post!

    @petalandmortar from Petal&Mortar

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    1. Thanks! I'm coming by to visit. Please put some coffee on : )

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  12. Great read! As always I am leaving your site with a smile...

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  13. OMG, I'm dying over here again! "Sacked with pride"?????? "Bagged" is for groceries. "Sacked" means getting fired. But Kristen does HER sacking with pride, dammit!

    I often provide input, I'm sure annoyingly, on the bagging procedures if the bagger appears to be incompetent. I've also taken to bagging my own stuff at Trader Joe's, but that's never due to their incompetency but rather as a time-saver. I usually only bag the cold stuff, and let them bag the rest, so they continue to feel useful. They almost always thank me for the help.

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    1. That's a great idea. I have to remember to take my cloth bags, then I can grab the stuff they will try to destroy and bag it myself : ) Thanks for coming by!

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