I started another Sedaris book last night, and right there on page 12, he wrote about uvulas. Great minds think alike I suppose (reference Stuck Happens post below), although probably a lot more people write to David and tell him how funny his thoughts on uvulas are. He says he wants to take a pair of scissors and snip his uvula off. That it would bleed a lot but wouldn't kill him.
One time when kid was 7 or 8, the Baptist Sunday School bus (wait! grammar alert! I think the bus was nondenominational) pulled up in front of the house to drop her off. Instead of the usual run to the door, there was a woman dragging kid through the yard toward me. Kid had a gash at the brow bone, and that sucker was bleeding buckets. The church lady said it was nothing but a scratch, and she'd be fine. I don't think Jesus would have said that. I mean, if David's uvula were missing and he was bleeding heavily, or a child in my care were injured, I really would show some concern. After that experience kid rode a different bus, without incident. Or accident.